It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage

{You're going bald}

Maybe it's just the dry air out here

{No, maybe you're going bald}

Doesn't hair just get a little thinner as you get older

{sure, if you're losing your hair}

Do I have a thin spot in the back, too?

{keep your eyes up here buddy}

"Where's that picture of me from college?...

{You're going bald}

...No, the one where my hair was in a pony tail...

{You're going bald}

...I just want to see something."

{You're going bald}

Everyone always said I'd never lose my hair

{Then everyone was wrong}

It's natural. Crying about your hairline is petty and vain.

{You need a hug buddy? It's okay}

I always said I'd shave my head if, and as soon as, I started to lose my hair.

{Not quite ready for that, are you?}

We'll let's just see where it goes - maybe it's in a holding pattern

{Somebody wants a comb-over}

Maybe I'm just imagining it. I've always had fine hair - look at the hair on the sides...

{Yeah, but look at the hair at the top of your forehead. You're going bald}

But this isn't fair. I can't be gaining weight, and losing my hair. What will the ladies say?

{You mean your wife and daughter? I think your "ladies" will be just fine. You're going bald}