Monday, August 11, 2008

Yay! I Have Eczema!

People who went to college with me know I had some funky ass foot problems. Seriously, I had athlete's foot so bad that my room smelled like an animal had died, and dogs love to lick my feet. Yeah, I think I'm going to barf.

So I would say my feet in general are knobby and gross, and the least capable part of my body at attracting entourages of fine foxy ladies. But the rash stuff had gone away a long long time ago.

Then last fall I got this weird rash on the top of my feet. Not athlete's foot. It sort of subsided over the winter, and then came back full force. Probably the itchiest thing I've ever had happen to me - as you can see - those scabs are the result of my inability to resist clawing at them with furious zeal, in an effort to silence the demons that lay under my derma. Again, my feet had become the bane of my existence.

I tried all sorts of stuff, antifungal, cortizone - but nothing. I finally went to my general practitioner, who told me I had scabies.

Good god. I felt like I could sympathize with people who had genital warts or herpes. I was so embarrassed, as was Mrs. Jones. All of us used this cream a couple of times, and I went out and bought all new socks and bedding. Aside from embarrassed, I was pretty disgusted. All I could think of was the treatment cycle, where the medicine seeps into the scabies mite's burrows, killed them, and then taking another 3 weeks for my feet to heal, as my body absorbed their dead carcasses and left over fecal matter. I'm thinking microscopic bot flies - Barf.

Well a month later, things were still bad. So I went to a dermatologist, who did a scraping, and told me definitively that I didn't have scabies, but eczema. Waves of contented washed over me. Except more my feet - waves of itchiness still poured over them.

So I am going to put some steroid cream on them twice a day, and should be good as new in a couple of weeks. I always wanted to do 'roids, and now I get me chance. Go Eczema!!!


Jade said...

YAY eczema! BAD DR! Making me more neurotic than ever...... oh I think she owes us for the 600 plus I spent on new bedding and cleaning supplies not to mention all the poison we put on our bodies...

Kerri said...

Fred Flintstone called...he wants his feet back.

Brant said...

I wish - those are gollums feet