Saturday, August 9, 2008

Cyborg Arms are so not cool.

So Emily got a cyborg arm in May - so I like totally had 2 get 1. My mom was all like hulking out like "blah blah blah I can't afford it blah blah blah." But she's such a bitch and knows it, so she finally took me to get one.

I got this kickin' cyborg arm - it has attachable hand units - it came with a hand, laser saw and iPhone. Totally bling. I got it for my left arm, cause I always hated my left arm, and now I can be that thing where you can do stuff with like both hands.

Only problem is I couldn't get it working right. It kept spinning around and like whacking me in the face and shit. It's like, how m I supposed to text and stuff while I'm getting whacked in the face! It totally fucked up my shiznit.

I figured I could do what jesus would do and like "read the fucking manual" - but I couldn't even get it open to the right page with one hand. My cyborg arm is all like spinning and smashing me in the face with the iphone (which I totally xoxoxoxox), and I'm all like "I can't even read korean - WTF!!!".

So I took it back to the office, and the Doctor was all like "well you didn't pay that fee, so we didn't keep your old arm - let me go see if its still okay." It was so not okay. It was like rotting in the dumpster and shit - no thank you! IMO - they should have kept it. But I hated that arm anyway. So he's kind of cool in sexy older doctor way, and was like - I'll call you next time we get an arm.

He called three days later - but I get there and it's the right arm of a black man. I was totally WTFing the doctor - jesus - the arm is way too long, and I don't need two right arms. So I went home - but that arm really was hurting my face. So I went back and got it attached later that day. My dad went all Bin Laden as like "what the hell elisa! I can't keep buying you arms!" I hate that bastard.

Well, like if youve never had two right arms, and then get two right arms - you'll know it totally blows. I couldn't do shit except shake my own hands.

So I got another cyborg arm. Yeah mom and dad we're totally hating me. This one works better, but it doesn't have the iphone. So lame.

Oh yeah - I'm getting cyborg legs for christmas!!! yay that bitch emily is gonna be all like "you're stuntin, girl!" and them I'm gonna kick her chest in!


Pilo said...


Giuseppe Jonathan Jones, CPA said...

Elisa will now be contributing to my blog. I met her on friendster.