Cyborg Arms are so not cool.

So Emily got a cyborg arm in May - so I like totally had 2 get 1. My mom was all like hulking out like "blah blah blah I can't afford it blah blah blah." But she's such a bitch and knows it, so she finally took me to get one.

I got this kickin' cyborg arm - it has attachable hand units - it came with a hand, laser saw and iPhone. Totally bling. I got it for my left arm, cause I always hated my left arm, and now I can be that thing where you can do stuff with like both hands.

Only problem is I couldn't get it working right. It kept spinning around and like whacking me in the face and shit. It's like, how m I supposed to text and stuff while I'm getting whacked in the face! It totally fucked up my shiznit.

I figured I could do what jesus would do and like "read the fucking manual" - but I couldn't even get it open to the right page with one hand. My cyborg arm is all like spinning and smashing me in the face with the iphone (which I totally xoxoxoxox), and I'm all like "I can't even read korean - WTF!!!".

So I took it back to the office, and the Doctor was all like "well you didn't pay that fee, so we didn't keep your old arm - let me go see if its still okay." It was so not okay. It was like rotting in the dumpster and shit - no thank you! IMO - they should have kept it. But I hated that arm anyway. So he's kind of cool in sexy older doctor way, and was like - I'll call you next time we get an arm.

He called three days later - but I get there and it's the right arm of a black man. I was totally WTFing the doctor - jesus - the arm is way too long, and I don't need two right arms. So I went home - but that arm really was hurting my face. So I went back and got it attached later that day. My dad went all Bin Laden as like "what the hell elisa! I can't keep buying you arms!" I hate that bastard.

Well, like if youve never had two right arms, and then get two right arms - you'll know it totally blows. I couldn't do shit except shake my own hands.

So I got another cyborg arm. Yeah mom and dad we're totally hating me. This one works better, but it doesn't have the iphone. So lame.



Oh yeah - I'm getting cyborg legs for christmas!!! yay that bitch emily is gonna be all like "you're stuntin, girl!" and them I'm gonna kick her chest in!